“The unconditional love of parents for children”, Golden Rule Moments published in azCentral

golden rule moments

The unconditional love of parents for children

Albert Celoza

Special to The Republic

The unconditional love of parents for their children provides the strong foundation for what their children will be formed as adults. Love expressed in word and in deed are constant Golden Rule moments that are carried on from one generation to the next.

In a two-parent household that provided a secure, stable and loving family it was unusual that Thomas became an at-risk teen. It was an experience of abuse at a church that exposed this young man to a cruel place. Hence, the family abruptly stopped attending church, and an angry teenager progressively committed acts of rebellion. At 16, he became a high school dropout and was repeatedly arrested and jailed. The irony is that his father was the town’s sheriff, and the situation was played out in the public eye. It was the act of tough love that gave the parents the opportunity to experience the consequences of their son’s actions. They let the chips fall where they may. Going rock bottom, he saw his friends lead hopeless lives, and some died at an early age.

Waking up to this realization of his parents’ constant support, he enrolled in a creative writing class that became his first step towards accomplishing a degree in social work to give him the academic qualifications to work with severely emotionally disturbed youth. He later worked for the Veterans hospital where he found a calling to pursue the chaplaincy. It is quite interesting to note that the world of psychological counseling and chaplaincy are suspicious of each other. It was, however, the combination of these fields that led Thomas to professionally pursue a master’s degree in both divinity and clinical counseling, which in turn led him to his current work as the Faith Services Administrator for the Arizona Department of Corrections, Rehabilitation, and Reentry.

While the overall goal of corrections is to keep Arizona safe by reducing the level of violence in society, Thomas’s mission is helping inmates increase their level of spiritual awareness by finding answers to ultimate questions that would help form an identity that makes people human. Citing Dr. Gordon Hilsman, ‘total well-being means a combination of relative vigor in bodily functioning, resilience in emotional self-care, satisfaction in social contexts, and fulfillment in the spiritual arenas of life. This is one way of stating a holistic view of people’.

For Chaplain Thomas, religion is not just about rules and regulations, it is about assisting in developing a sense of peace and joy in the human person. It is about living with values and principles that honor multifaith practices and offer possibilities for brighter alternative futures. Thus, the vision is ‘a correctional environment where all people are empowered to peacefully integrate their spirituality, find meaning, and lead purposeful lives’, built upon believing in God, others, and us, even before we have evidence.’

Despite the trying circumstances of life, it also aims to do ‘what is right, noble, and just.’ As a guiding value, it means doing right by others, even when you have been wronged. ‘What is done in darkness will be known in the light’. The legacy of his parents’ unconditional love and the mission of Chaplain Thomas Arbaugh is worth enacting not just for the incarcerated but for everyone wishing to build communities of love and peace.

For more about and to support faith services provided by the Arizona Department of Corrections, Rehabilitation and Reentry, visit:

https://corrections.az.gov/office-deputy-director/education-programs-and-community-reentry/faith-services.

Albert Celoza, Ph.D., is the executive director of Arizona Interfaith Movement.