Golden Rule Moments: The paradox of service
Albert Celoza
Special for The Republic
‘The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.’ This quote attributed to Mahatma Gandhi, encapsulates a profound paradox.
Those engaged in helping others often experience true self-discovery and fulfillment, while those driven by egocentric goals often suffer from a lack of fulfillment and emptiness. This fascinating process, which challenges our conventional understanding of selfdiscovery and personal growth, is exemplified by a group of students at Brophy College Preparatory, a Phoenix school that organizes its students under the motto ‘men for others.’
I met with Jacob Denlinger, an incoming senior at Brophy this academic year. Last spring on Cesar Chavez Day, Denlinger, along with a group of senior students, organized a day of service. I reviewed a list of various sites where groups of friends pledged to complete projects. The wide array of sites included: AZ Helping Hands, A New Leaf, Catholic Charities, Hospice of the Valley White Dove Thrift Stores (Mesa, Midtown, Scottsdale, and Glendale), Lutheran Social Services, Southwest Autism Research and Resource Center, Saint Vincent de Paul Urban Farm, and places in the city of Phoenix for cleanup. To build a spirit of camaraderie, 330 students wore red shirts during the day of service.
Jacob Denlinger
This intricate work didn’t materialize out of thin air. Beginning in their freshman year, students have experienced volunteer opportunities supplemented by retreats. During their school days, they developed and exercised the practice of discernment and self-examination, reflecting deeply on their experiences, spiritual lives, and how they fulfill the ideal of Saint Ignatius, founder of the Jesuit order, doing everything for the ‘greater glory of God’ (‘Ad maiorem Dei gloriam,’ often abbreviated as AMDG).
The students chose leaders to manage headcounts and devoted their day to their service projects. By day’s end, they were understandably too tired to gather for their planned culminating activity at the park. In addition to the day of service, Denlinger also coordinated activities for high school students across the Valley, cooperating in a gathering event, facilitated by the Arizona Interfaith Movement. This has fostered better understanding among youth from different faith groups, churches, and congregations. It was inspired by the ideal of walking alongside each other, solving problems together, developing friendships.
The paradox lies in the idea that by focusing less on us and more on serving others, we gain a deeper understanding of who we are. It suggests that self-discovery is achieved not through introspection alone, but through action and interaction with the world around us. By ‘losing’ ourselves, we actually ‘find’ ourselves, perhaps discovering our true nature, purpose, values, and talents.
This paradox challenges the common notion that self-discovery is a solitary, inward-focused journey. Instead, it proposes that our true selves emerge when we step outside our own concerns and engage meaningfully with the wider world. It also suggests that our identities are not fixed or isolated, but are shaped and revealed through our relationships and actions in the world.
Denlinger and his friends have more to discover in their future years of learning. Meanwhile, for their efforts and practice of the Golden Rule in service to others, Jacob Denlinger and his colleagues will be honored at the Golden Rule Awards Celebration on September 4, 2025, at the Tempe Center for the Arts. For more information, please visit azifm.org.
Albert Celoza, Ph.D. is the executive director of the Arizona Interfaith Movement.
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